Teen Dating Abuse

Teen dating abuse is more common than many people realize. Each year about 25 percent of adolescents report verbal, physical, emotional or sexual abuse.

While one forth of 14-17 year old's know of at least one teen who has been the victim of dating violence, 81 percent of parents believe that teen dating abuse is not an issue. Less than one forth of teens say they have discussed dating violence with their parents.

54% of high school students have reported dating violence among their peers. Usually this abuse happens in one of the partner’s home. One in four girls say they have been pressured to perform oral sex or engage in intercourse.

One of the most striking facts is that 80% of girl victims of physical abuse in their relationships continue to date the abuser and as you can imagine this sets her up for a lifetime cycle of abuse. If these statistics don't get your attention consider the fact that of the women between 15 and 19 years old murdered each year, 30% are killed by their husbands or boyfriends.

How can you tell if your daughter may be a victim of teen dating abuse? Watch for these signs:

• Falling grades
• Mood and/or personality changes
• Depression
• Plummeting self-esteem
• Use of drugs or alcohol
• Physical signs of injury
• Makes excuses for abuser’s behavior

If you are a dating teen watch for these warnings signs from your partner:

• Extreme jealous
• Isolates partner from family and friends
• Unpredictable moods, instances of explosive anger
• Blames others for problems
• Believes in rigid gender roles
• Believes women are possessions
• Uses drugs and/or alcohol
• Has history of abuse relationships

For more information regarding the warning signs of a potential abuser please go to Domestic Violence.

We would all like to be in healthy relationships. If we could learn respect skills early as teens we would not only learn to distinguish abusive relations quickly, but to begin relationships on the right foot and help to avoid teen dating abuse.

As parents we need to set good examples of these skills in our adult relationships. How can you expect your children to have healthy relationships if they haven’t been exposed to them throughout their formidable years? Here is a list of these communication skills important for relationships built on mutual respect:

• Anger Control When anger, think before speaking. Don’t express anger through violence.
• Negotiation Strive to find compromises that involve give and take on both sides
• Listening Keep communications open. Allow others to say their opinion without forcing yours on them
• Understanding Try to put yourself in their shoes and identify with their feelings
• Fighting Fair Avoid insults, stay on subject and don’t bring up old issues
• Honesty Be clear and open about expectations and feelings
Teen dating abuse is a real issue. If you find yourself in this kind of relationship you need to tell someone you can trust and get out now before you find yourself unable to get out of the cycle of abuse that many women find their selves in; some for the rest of their lives. He is not going to change for the better despite his promises.


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