Youth Self Defense
Youth self defense is not only your unwavering vigilance over the youth in your charge, but also teaching them to make good choices when you are not there.
When they were tiny babies in your arms you knew then that they were total dependent on you to provide for their needs and keep them safe. It wasn’t necessarily easy and hopefully there were enough responsible loving adults to help you with this task. As a child grows, keeping her safe gets more and more complicated. Dangers lurk everywhere; like electrical sockets, stairs, poisons and breakable objects. Worse yet are the predatory "humans" we must teach our kids to be afraid of.
When these children grow into tweens, teens and beyond, our jobs as parents and caretakers change. Stairs are no longer a danger- or at least not as much as they once were. Now we need to make sure that we taught them and continue to teach them how to use common sense and practice youth self defense. First and foremost (and perhaps one of the hardest parts) you must always set a good example. You must demonstrate making good choices. Don’t get drunk or do drugs in their presence. O.K. don’t do illegal drugs AT ALL! Do not demonstrate sexual promiscuity. Do not tolerate any abuse- verbal, physical or sexual abuse in your home. Exhibit equality and tolerance. Now for more specific guidelines for youth self defense. I realize that many families are not “traditional”, but for the sake of less wordiness- I know, too late- I will refer to the adults in charge as parents and the young people in question as the sons/daughters. - Update fingerprints, DNA samples and pictures
- Equip them with cell phones (I’m sure they won’t object) with GPS
- Let them know they can call you at any time to come and get them without asking any questions
- Always listen to them when they feel like talking
- Talk to them about sex
- Let them know they can always say "no" to their friends or even other adults if they are been pressured into something they don’t want to do
- Know where they are going, who they are going with and when they will return- and care about it!
- The computer should be in a common area. Nothing should be posted in Face Book, chat rooms or emails that wouldn’t be put on the family bulletin board
- Tell them to never ride in a car driven by someone under the influence of alcohol or drugs See number 3.
- Have them take a self defense or martial arts class- better yet, take it with them!
- Make and enforce a rule not to entertain guests of the opposite gender when no parents are home
- Watch for any sudden changes in personality, appearances, grades, sleeping patterns as these may signal a emotional, traumatic event or drug involvement.
Not to break my rule about equality, but these youth self defense guidelines are particularly for your daughters: - Investigate any part-time jobs they are considering with smaller operations
- Check out any babysitting jobs by meeting the parents first
- Before she stays overnight at a friends, again, meet the parents.
- Teach her about sex and appropriate attitudes about it
- Let her know that when guys drink alcohol they may get uncharacteristically aggressive
- Let her know that it is perfectly acceptable to say no and see number 3
If you, as a mother are in an abusive relationship, your kids already have a strike against them. They learn this behavior from you and most likely they will continue the cycle. Your sons will have no respect for you and will consider women to be objects to possess and abuse. You daughters will most likely end up with men who will recognize their lack of self esteem and will abuse them, too. Teach your sons and daughters to use common sense and to practice youth self defense at all times!
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